Uncensored Regular Show Episodes
by LionLover23
Summary: Title says it all people! This isn't for people who are sensitive to sex, violence, and swearing. R&R!
1. The Power

**Warning: This isn't for people who are sensitive to sexual content, swearing, and vioence. I will go on order from the first episode to the latest. Now...READ THIS NOW OR YOU'RE FIRED!**

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"Alright you son of a bitch, I'm gonna give you one more damn chance about what you said about my mom!"

Silence.

"I'll kill your dumbass!"

Rigby jumped from the drawer, landing on wrestle doll, throwing punches at it. Rigby, on purpose, made the doll punch him twice, making him moan in pain.

"Tag up, tag up!" Mordecai shouted.

Rigby slapped his friend's wing and grabbed a beer bottle, chugging it all down. He threw it on the ground, "Ahhhh!"

"Did you hear that bitch, I think he wants you to put the hurt on him." Mordecai said, lifting his buddy up.

"You think he wants me to put the hurt on him?"

"Yes I do."

"Ahhhh!", the duo screamed in unison before the bluejay threw the raccoon on the trampoline. Rigby bounced off the trampoline hit the wall. It created a huge hole.

"Oh shit. Dude, Benson will rape us if he finds that hole in the wall." Mordecai said, a look of terror plastered on his face.

Rigby stood up and dusted himself off, "Please. Last time he raped me, I was having the time of my life."

"Yeah, but he rapes just to let his anger out." Mordecai reminded, glaring at the raccoon. "Now he will rape us both because of your dumbass!"

Rigby crossed his arms, "Fuck you. *gasp* I have an idea!"

"What dude?"

"Hamboning."

"Hamboning?"

"It will save your life someday."

Rigby started to repeatedly slap himself, trying to get his friend to do the same."No, we're not doing that, okay? Okay?!

Rigby looked down, "Fine. But I do have something even better." The blue jay raised a brow, "What?"

"This."

He lifted up a shiny red keyboard. The duo's eyes widened, "Woah." Rigby nodded, "What do you want to name it."

"I always wanted to call a bitch, 'The Power'."

With those words, the keyboard automatically carved 'The Power' on the front. "You know what this means right? We can do everything we ever wanted!" Rigby cheered in happiness.

* * *

_Random music plays:_ (Sexual content is coming)

"Hey Benson! We want a fucking raise!" Mordecai screamed in his office. The Gumball machine looked up and shook his head, "No. I won't give you fuckers a goddamn raise!"

Rigby threw his arms up, "Why not!?"

"You guys slack off too much! Speaking of which, I'm angry and you know what that means."

"Oh fuck." Mordecai cursed.

Benson's pink penis emerged and he stood up from his desk. "You're up first small bitch." Benson said as he grabbed Rigby's arm.

He pinned the raccoon down and placed the tip of his dick around Rigby's hole. The raccoon squirmed with all his might, but it was no use. He was weak.

Without warning, Benson pushed inside Rigby's asshole, moaning in pleasure. Rigby's own dick emerged from his sheath.

"Ha! Look at that tiny thing!" Benson teased as he went faster. His knot slapped whenever he went inside the raccoon.

Mordecai watched everything with awe. His own dick emerged and he started masturbating.

"Ohh...that feels so damn good."

Rigby whimpered as Benson raped him. He lost his virginity to his rapist.

"I'm gonna c-cUMMM!" The Gumball machine released his seed in Rigby before pulling out.

"You guys aren't getting a raise, so get the fuck out of my office." Mordecai and Rigby ran out of the office, with the red keyboard.

"Well, that was something." Mordecai blurted out.

Rigby placed the red keyboard down and played music on it. "Make a monster destroy the fucking house." He sang.

On cue, a giant, green monster appeared beside them and started destroying the house, making the park crew run out.

"Mordecai! Rigby! What did you fuckers do this time!?" Skips yelled, popping his knuckles. The blue jay pointed at his friend, "Don't look at me."

All eyes were now on the raccoon.

"Uhh.."

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**This is my uncensored version of this episode. I'm a sick person, aren't I? Next episode: Just set up the chairs**


	2. Just Set Up the Chairs

**I'll try updating everyday since there's so many episodes. Now let's start reading, shall we?**

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"Okay everybody, today is a little kids birthday so I'm gonna assign jobs for everyone. Muscle Man and High Fives, you guys are in charge of picking up the entertainment. Skips, you're in charge of inflating the bouncy castle."

He stared at the certain duo, "Mordecai and Rigby...just set up the chairs. I'll be picking up the brats and dropping them off."

The blue jay and raccoon groaned and threw their arms up in annoyance. "Come on Benson, how come we get the sucky jobs?" Mordecai asked angrily. The gumball machine narrowed his eyes, "Because I don't trust you slackers to do anything damn important!"

Rigby looked at his friend, "Is he calling us slackers?" The blue jay crossed his arms, "He's calling us slackers." Rigby glared at his boss, "If we do this job, we won't set up the chairs next time right?"

Benson looked over at Mordecai, who pursed his lips and did a movement with his shoulders. He sighed, "Yes."

The famous duo looked at each other, "OHHHHH! Not settin' up the chairs next time! Not settin' up the chairs next time!" They pointed at their boss as their song finished. Benson turned and walked away, "Just set up the fucking chairs."

* * *

_Some place we really don't care about:_

"Alright dude lets do this." Mordecai said. Rigby smiled, "We're gonna set up the chairs so good, Benson will drop his balls. He'll be 'Oh shit, my balls fell'."

The blue jay laughed at his stupid friend, "Heh heh, yeah he will! Now let's set up the chairs. One." Rigby grabbed a iron chair and threw it Mordecai causing it to fall.

The duo looked at each other before sighing, "This is gonna take fucking forever." Mordecai leaned against the pile of iron chairs, "Dude, what if it us picking up the-"

"Special entertainment." they said in unison.

* * *

_Special Entertainment's apartment:_

Muscle Man and High Five Ghost finally arrived at a old, dirty, and smelly apartment. High Fives grabbed the handle and knocked on the door three times. Footsteps were heard and a pair of eyes stared at them through opening.

Muscle Man smiled like an idiot, "We're to pick you douches up." The opening closed and you can hear lots of unlocking before the door opened, revealing condoms and beer cans.

A clown stood there along with a white horse.

"Alright, lets go. Ahh, its bright." The fatss clown grabbed his black shades and placed them on his face. "This...is...AWESOME!" The green man and ghost quickly high fived each other.

_Meanwhile with Benson:_

There was traffic on the highway. The gumball was stuck on a bus fully of bratty kids who did nothing but scream and make a mess. He looked to his right and lightly smiled at the birthday boy, "Happy Birthday-"

"JUST DRIVE THE BUS YOU SON OF A DICK!"

Benson's gumballs turned red in anger. He wasn't going to let a kid tell him what to do. "I'm trying to do my best, you know what?" The gumball machine stood up from his seat and stuck out the middle finger.

"ALRIGHT YOU SPAWNS OF SATAN, SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND DON'T GET UP UNTIL WE ARRIVE AT THE PARTY!" He screamed, as loud as he can. The kids quickly scrambled back to their seats, dead silent.

His eyes glared at the birthday boy, "And you, I'll spank you so hard that you won't walk in years!"

The fat boy backed away, but Benson was quicker. He took out a large belt and held the kid down. "Take it like a man." The gumball machine raised the belt high and brought it down hard on the kid's ass, making him yell in pain.

* * *

_Meanwhile with Mordecai and Rigby:_

Rigby had a chair wrapped around him, as well as holding another two, pretending that he's shooting. "Pew pew pew pew." He said. He fell on the on the ground, laughing his head off.

Mordecai frowned, "Aw, come on dude!"

Rigby continued laughing.

"Dude, just please help me with this."

Rigby groaned as he took off the chair from around his body, "Ughhh! When you say that, it makes me even more lazy." Mordecai sighed, "Just pass me the chairs."

37 chairs later...

"Thirty-eight. Thirty-eight?" Mordecai turned to see Rigby laying on his back, "Dude, where's the rest of chairs."

"Pfft, that's all the chairs man."

The blue jay looked around, "There's gotta be more chairs." He then saw a large storage room. "Come on dude, I think the rest are in here." The duo walked over to the storage room and tried to open, but it was locked.

Mordecai walked back and broke down the door, which made him moan in pain. "Woah. Look at all these video games." The raccoon scurried over to one game and turned it on. He did nothing but mash the buttons.

"Dude, that's not how you play video games." Mordecai told, crossing his arms. Rigby rolled his eyes, "Whatever, go ask Benson for more work." Without warning, Mordecai pushed Rigby out of the way and skillfully beat the level.

"OHHH!"

"Pfft, beginner's luck."

After about 10 more beatdowns from his friend, Rigby looked around and saw a blanket covering something. He got up and tore the blanket off, revealing a really cool looking game.

"Coolll. Hey Mordecai, check this out."

The blue jay looked at what Rigby was looking out. "Can't you read? Its Out of Order." Rigby stared at his friend before seeing a note written by Skips.

_In the name that is all of holy, don't connect the red wire to the blue wire_

Being the idiot he is, Rigby grabbed the two wires, connecting them. In result, caused a sudden blackout. A red glow surrounded the video game and a devil with a black mustache emerged from the game.

It started causing destruction around the park.

The duo stood there in awe of what just happened.

"We need Skips."

"Agreed."

The blue jay and raccoon in the direction where Skips was and soon found him. "Skips, we need your help!" Mordecai exclaimed. A ball of fire suddenly shot nad landed near them.

Skips saw the villain and glared daggers at the duo, "You bitches! Destroyer of World will kill us all! Lucky for you, I know how to get rid of these things." Skips grabbed the golf cart and quickly placed three video games on it.

"Okay, when I say three press start." The duo nodded.

"One. Two. Three!" On time, they've pressed the start button. Then, a giant burger character was formed. "Okay, Rigby you control the legs. Mordecai and I will control the arms and body."

"Aw what?! Legs sucks ass!" Rigby complained.

A laser hit a building and Mordecai saw the rest of the chairs, "The chairs!" He hopped off the cart and ran to the building. "Mordecai!" The blue jay screamed in terror as he held the iron chair to his chest.

Skips was then knocked from something. (I forgot what it was, XD)

Rigby took a deep breath and used both his arms and tail to control the graphic burger character. When Destroyer of Worlds was destroyed, everything was on fire.

Rigby heard footsteps behind him, knowing it was Mordecai. "Hey Dude, nice gaming skills." Rigby smiled, "Thanks. You were screaming like a bitch." The blue jay punched the raccoon.

"YOU TWO!"

The duo turned to see Benson running towards them. But what really caught their attention were the kids. They were all happy, except for the birthday boy, who naked, crying, and covered in semen.

"Uhhh..."

"This is the last time I trust you two with something important, like the chairs! Now clean up this mess or YOU'RE FIRED!" The gumball machine stormed off, dragging and birthday kid with him.

Mordecai and Rigby looked at each other, "Break?"

"Break."

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**Up next, Caffeinated Concert Tickets. **


End file.
